Tonight I came home late, as it is notably 3 AM as I am writing this. Just like every other weekend this summer, I have been DJing weddings, and business is great and pleasant.
After my car accident and it’s aftermath, I felt for a while as though I had no choice. That the life I was living was just “the best I could do for myself”. But when I took a step outside myself and looked at who I am now, I realized that I would be jealous of me. Isn’t that ironic? Feeling pathetic and like a failure about a life that I simultaneous loved? Well I got over myself and realized that I chose to be this way, and I am proud of it.
I have been very deliberately taking my time to reassemble something: The way I choose to live. I haven’t been secretive about it. Most who know me, and read what I write, know that I love my job. I love all the free time it allows me to spend with people I love – the family, friends, my fellow improv community. I also love the free time it gives me to pursue other paths – such as my writing.
I take my time these days. I still work hard as ever, but I don’t burn the candle at both ends. In fact, I don’t burn anything at any end (except for certain candles and bedsheets and arm burns that shall remain nameless). I do quite the opposite, and do things specifically to fuel me, to inspire me, to fill me with a positive perspective and attitude (without compromising my obvious reclusive and cynical nature). There is no room for anything or anyone that’s negative anymore, and I do not miss those influences. Not one bit.
From the ashes of that burnt candle, my former life, I really have rebuilt and chosen how I spend my time, and with whom I spend it with. There is obvious causality to life, and of course my choices aren’t without their ripples. Whenever we make a choice, we give up some freedoms and gain others. That’s just the way it is. I may not work full time or always have a full bank account these days, but I am full of other things (and its not all bullshit, I promise). I gave up some financial stability for the time being – but I have gained back my identity. I can’t say the same for a lot of people – who unfortunately do the inverse.
I long ago learned you can’t change anyone, nor do I honestly care if you do change or not, but I do feel it wrong to not share things in life. I am no hoarder. So I share this now with you, and do what you will with it:
How do you live your life? Do you hate your job? Do you complain about it constantly? Do you surround yourself with negative people? Do you make excuses for all these things in your life you wish were different?
Well there are two types of people in this world:
Those who make excuses, and those who make choices.
Which one are you?
Now maybe Facebook will decide to import this instantly for once and not a week later…Speaking of which, subscribe to my RSS damnit, Facebook is just lamesauce. Ultra Lamesauce. With Ready Whipped Crap-Topping.