Insomnia

Mind is going lightning speed/
Everyone worries, yet none really/
That’s the way these things go
sometimes/There’s just too much
on one’s mind to feign sanity/
Imagining/Distracting/Crafting
scenarios sidestepping stagnancy/
A lot to take in I know/
3 am won’t pass soon enough/
Heavy Heart/Muddled Mind/
Not the best combination/
Except for insomnia///

///I keep thinking if I keep
thinking I can think my
way out of things/

Silly as it sounds/
I’ll keep thinking/
Until I think of something/
Or more likely, nothing/

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Without a Doubt

Without a doubt
I’ve walked thus far
Alone, walking, climbing
Stemming my roots
Systemically learning
Challenging everything
Undercutting, eye-opening
Rebuilding, rebuilding

Life has been an undulation
Carrying me with it
Taking nothing for granted
Offering no apology
Perhaps none is necessary
I can’t see all outcomes
Thus this may be meant to be
Maybe, maybe

My arms are weary
From all this swimming
My throat is sore
Continually swallowing
I can go no further
Without love’s return
For love to take its turn
Weary, so weary

Or else my only other option
Is to continue ongoing
Falling apart as I go
Waiting for no one
Isolate and clarigate
A peaceful warrior
Broken and open
Climbing, and climbing

I could stay here loving
Or go on living
Stay here alone
Or carry on empty
I’m deserving, I’m ready
You’re ready, but not ready
So stay or go, either or
Alone, alone

Tossed to the Wind

Sometimes there really
is not a thing we can do.
We are truly helpless
against Newtonian Forces.

We can plan and plot
and scheme and prepare.
But the reoccurring themes
Suggest a different causality.

Whether or not I push this,
If it’s meant to be it will happen.
So I keep on pushing.
It’s simply my nature.

I’ve told you everything I could.
I did all that was in my power to do.
In the end I grasped
only what was within reach.

I’m staring now, across the deep.
At what’s beyond my grasp.
See you smiling without me.
What else is there to say?

If I stand here waiting
for what’s mine to come,
will my wherewithal relinquish
What I’ve worked for thus far?

If I’m to cross this divide
I’ll need your help.
I’m brave enough now
To know to ask for it.

I’ve walked alone thus far.
For a time, I learned much.
But everything inevitably changes.
Now the rest is up to you.