Minimum Wage War

I’ll trade my scars for bones
Dipped in white they harrow my soul
Carved pathways uproot and displace
But I can’t leave this place when tied

I’ll change my anchor of hold
It’s not like feeling free at all
More like being set loose, adrift
Lost in undulating cries

I’ll change my heart so cold
Finding beacons by accident at sea
I’ll make use of what’s crashing at me
Or at least I’ll say I tried

I’ll not do as I’m told
I will expand and contract ceaselessly
Confusing it for forward progress
It’s way more like side to side

I’ll trade my silver for gold
But are there any merchants left?
I’m just peddling wares naively
Until such that I retreat and hide

I’ll keep on getting old
At this rate my years will shrink
When all I do is think and think
Circling a weeping tide

I’ll lose what’s left I’m told
What so little there is but lines
Drawn so hard I can’t fool myself
So it’s come to this, pride.


Passed Tense

Looking back has become all I look forward to
I have been waiting so long and forgot what for
I’m existing now, only in remnants of remnants
Crumbs of scraps in a trail to nowhere
Was it really such a heinous crime
To have wanted to love you for all time?
But the places I once walked will welcome no more
And you in it will always hold your own fear
Higher than any heart you have for me
But I do not want you to think I am only this way
Outside, looking in – no, not as simply that
More just outside, walking away, shaking head
Filled with wishes, love, memories, and wants
Shedding warm tears for harsh reality reluctantly
It feels like crashing into thistles and thorns
Painfully quick getting in – painfully slow out
But I see no other way through all the bramble
As though all I have left is my blood
So I leave before I am emptied completely
Or void of anything I ever held when I entered
So I carry mere drops and crumbs and remnants
Knowing nowhere for my nettled love to rest