Passed Tense

Looking back has become all I look forward to
I have been waiting so long and forgot what for
I’m existing now, only in remnants of remnants
Crumbs of scraps in a trail to nowhere
Was it really such a heinous crime
To have wanted to love you for all time?
But the places I once walked will welcome no more
And you in it will always hold your own fear
Higher than any heart you have for me
But I do not want you to think I am only this way
Outside, looking in – no, not as simply that
More just outside, walking away, shaking head
Filled with wishes, love, memories, and wants
Shedding warm tears for harsh reality reluctantly
It feels like crashing into thistles and thorns
Painfully quick getting in – painfully slow out
But I see no other way through all the bramble
As though all I have left is my blood
So I leave before I am emptied completely
Or void of anything I ever held when I entered
So I carry mere drops and crumbs and remnants
Knowing nowhere for my nettled love to rest

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3 thoughts on “Passed Tense

  1. This is the story of our times. A sense of endless doors closing, pathways being shut, diminishing futures, whether at the personal level, at the professional level, or for society as a whole. All of us are experiencing the dashing of our loves, our hopes, our plans.

      1. It’s not a matter of power: trying to apply power simply locks you and (if you’re powerful enough) the system up. It’s a matter of seizing freedom by backing away, refusing to play. John Michael Greer puts it (in terms of the collapse of society) as “Collapse early and avoid the rush”, meaning “live now as you will have to eventually”. Sound advice, I think.

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