I’ve hid behind only one mask
In every way I have been true
Honest, vulnerable, unwavering
All ways, but for one
Making it the most important
When life has been sublime
Flowing with the river sans effort
No longer pummeled foolishly
No longer fighting the current
Wherever it may take me
Still it’s not enough
It means almost nothing to be flowing
Floating along so buoyant
If only because I am so empty
Hollow and carved out by one thing
My one secret that no one else touches
For I fear what may happen to it
How they might take it, rape it, shape it
Better to keep it locked away from them
Their greed, their lust, their agenda
It is one thing, but all of who I am
Better they not take it
Better I save it’s every fiber
Save it for no one, not even myself
I join the ranks of writers unpublished
Pianists unheard, lovers unloved
I could not anticipate ever unmasking
It is my one mask, I said:
“Let me wear it”
While I slowly forgot who I was beneath it
Now times are changing despite my position
You’ve seen all that I have hid and forgot
I can no longer be this shadowy ghost
I am learning to see myself as you see me
Seeing me for my one thing
Trusting that the world deserves more
Not a haunting guise and wisps or whispers
No more ghosts of winter’s past
No more secret to eat me alive inside
I want you to see me, all of me
Those that would take, rape, and shape it
Are only doing such to themselves
You’ve at least shown me I can give my all
That at least one person will not take my one thing
But will treasure it for being all that I am
I am terrified and ready for all that means


One thought on “Effusion

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