Durga Mantra

For men, courage is a goddess

And we worry she will reject us

Leaving us in familiar fear

We’re just so lost sometimes

Surrounded but feeling alone

No amount of countenance or counting,

Be it gratitude or longitude,

Can stop the creeping aloneness

The not togetherness

The disconnection, the schism

I can’t connect, but I can feign

It’s something practiced and refined now

It only works in public spaces,

The crowd of those that love me

Never retreating that feeling of being

Alone and lonely is ne’er fleeting

It’s pulling and magnetic

Like a simple flip and it would repel

But that’s not where I am at

Hah, courage is easier when supported

Funnier still: Inevitably, we will be by ourselves

Until we are beside ourselves

For escaping our fear is a race

A race we are not trained or equipped for

Against something we cannot outrun

It is in these moments

These darknesses

Where we make the poor choices

The choices that redefine us

So we are feeling less than we are

Where we sink into our depths

Thinking we will come out the other side somehow

Here is where courage as a goddess reigns

Her presence terrifying and powerful

How can we aspire to that?

Not here, not now, not like this!
Voracious clicking and clacking to find

ANY meaning ANY at all

Until we are so sick of doing good that doing bad seems right

You want to know courage?

Being in that place, that space, that woe, that wrong!

And then?

Stopping.

Admitting.

Forgiving.

Changing.

That’s where courage lives.

In those silent moments no one will ever see or hear about

When no one will praise or acknowledge your ascension

Where your transcendence is a secret for only you to know,

To say “I didn’t give in. Tonight, I was better”

For only the goddess and you to hear.