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Where will I find hope

In acceptance or defeat

What lingering wounds

Misshape my identity

Towards newfound oldness

Deep pockets of fragility

Finality in the changes

What’s past is done

No reliving will happen

But within my mind

The hapless mind

Constantly conjuring

Addicted to fantasy

To escape this reality

This skull I’m trapped in

A vast cranial cage

For my polarized thoughts

Flowing energetically

Charging my narrative

Storing my judgments

Saving them for later

What is my capacity

Ask me again sometime

The Return of the King

And so I went into the deep

The past parts of me

Intricate and elaborately designed

By a masterful designer

Who’s architecture I am now a slave to

Within these depths I knew much

What to expect, what to not expect

That which I did not know

I knew I would not know

So between the arterial columns

Pushing past pulmonary parapets

Over the drawbridge of black tears

The river flowed so still

A darkness so bleak you’d forget of light

At the gates my guides met me

My shadow and ghost

To perch on my shoulders and begin

I stared down the ominous hall

Where upon his throne sits

All that I must dethrone

In fact, to demolish all that surrounds

Standing tall and firm, proclaiming

“I am here. I am ready. The king has returned”

And as the first layer of defense peeled away

In ramblings, shedding, tearing, and madness

I emerged from my own heart’s fire

But no empire will crumble in one night

No new one can be built in the same

So I stood, breathless and buoyant

The dark clouds gone from my mind

Watching the poisoned river cleanse itself

It’s a start at least

I must earn my birthright

For once the fortress has no roof

I will be able to see the stars of my soul again

This ground that I stand on now

May not be solid

I may not be solid

I may not even make it to the throne room

But as the wind as my witness

I will not relent diving

Into all the fears I must face

Until every last inch of these walls

Has settled into dust

So no one can ever rule me again.