Ayurveda Day 99: Love is Freedom

So I have been on a hiatus as it seems. Months since my last post. Life has been extremely busy, stressful, challenging. Now this blog, as I enter my internship seeing clients, will become sporadic, and be about whatever I wish!

There is a freedom in that. No obligation, no expectation. But also a sort of fear. A fear of falling away from writing – something I love dearly. But that is what comes with all freedom. Freedom gives us the space we need to do whatever we wish, without any chains or bars to hold us. But it also gives us uncertainty, demanding we surrender to the will of the universe and what it has planned for us.

This is the true nature of freedom. Freedom is just another word for love.

Love is freedom.

So often in this life when we love we put attachments, judgments, and our fears and insecurities into the other person. We are so afraid of losing what we have, or showing our scars, or being vulnerable, that we make every effort to sabotage ourselves.

But sometimes, these sabotages can take the form of things we see as noble, or values. Perhaps our attachments and expectations come in the form of “what’s best” for the people we love. But chains made of gold are no better than chains made of steel. They are still just chains in the end.

The mind is a powerful servant, but a dangerous master. When we choose to love with conditions, we become a slave. Our mind controls us, masters us, and demands everything. It places chains on us, puts us behind bars, and traps us.

We get used to our prison and our warden. We even find ways to navigate and find some twisted way of existing – we feel that in the end the mind is just locking us away to protect us…and we have every reason to be afraid! The world is a big and scary place. Scariest when your heart is open.

But it is in that open heart that freedom is found. When all chains have been cut and all bars have been removed, the heart is truly free. Free to be one’s own master. The heart guides us where we need to go, telling us to surrender. The mind becomes our servant, and we feel a love that connects us to more than just attachments. We feel an all encompassing love that connects us to everything. We don’t just feel love.

We are love.

But when this true self emerges and you become love, you become a harsh reminder to the rest of the world of what they have been hiding from. You become the most dangerous thing to everyone else who is locked behind the bars and chains of their mind: You become freedom.

There is a lonely liberation in this becoming. You simultaneously feel connected to all of creation, and yet so many will be afraid of you!

But if you are strong enough to not let your mind take over, and keep surrendering to the will of the universe, letting go of all attachment…then you will see the truth of it all.

One of the first things I learned when I started this journey was from my instructor, Marisa Larsen, whom I have quoted before:

“There’s love and there’s forgetting there’s love and that’s it!”

You are love. Love is freedom.

Be free!

Be love.

With gratitude,

 

S

 

 

 

 

You Manifested Me

I now see how you see me

What you see was not what I see

It never was what I saw in me

 

What I saw took years to see

To say proudly “I see it clearly”

This took more to see, you see

 

I could see it there inside me

So you see that I saw truly

To see with my heart, soft and free

 

Why could you not see what I see?

What was hiding from you and me?

How uneasy it made you to try to see

 
To see me as I see me

What a carefree ideology

But bittersweet in memory

 

You only see less than me

Parts of yourself you fear in me

Projecting it all into me

 

So what I saw as being me

Is replaced far too easily

By the less than me that you see

 

And now I see it finally

All the ways you saw me

I’ve become your reality

Hello darkness my old friend

Seconds can seem like minutes

Minutes like hours

Hours like days

Days like months

Months like years

Years like aeons

“Live in the moment”

Make sure of it.

But a moment? Could be seconds.

Could be eons.

Now, I know, we’ve all had them:

Dark moments that stretch into eternity

A sort of ocean of tar

Where you feel encompassed, drowning

But you feel oddly held, fixed in place by it

Almost supported

But not really.

It’s more like you lose everything

Except your sadness

So at least you have a sort of knowing

A knowing in knowing you know sadness

And it knows you, when no one else knows

It becomes your only friend

When all others have left you

The darkness is too much for them to be around

Can we blame them?

But there’s a secret

One that you and the darkness and the sadness share

In knowing that even when you were bright, illuminated

Full of love and light, overflowing

You were even a beacon! So bright.

With wings of gold, ready to soar.

The darkness has a sad whisper to you

A laughable obviousness of truth:

That the light was just as hard for them to be around

Maybe even harder to be around!

Alone in light

Alone in darkness

It seems its never okay to be completely one or the other

Just be like everyone else. Don’t dare to be bigger or smaller!

An unacceptable choice, and how dare I for being either

At any time

In any moment

Eons to years

Years to months

Months to days

Days to hours

Hours to minutes

Minutes like seconds

 



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